Breath
by DiamondSkin
Summary: Bella has nothing left to live for. Will anyone be able to save her in time? Originally a songfic- continued by request. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
1. The End

**This is my first songfic, something that I've wanted to try for a while. **

**The lyrics are from the song "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin. I think they set the mood quite nicely. This is going to be a oneshot, but if enough of you want me to continue it, I might be persuaded otherwise. I don't own the song or Twilight.**

Time passed. Slowly.

_I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like_

The only sound in my room was the ticking of the clock on my wall. I sat quietly on my bed, gripping the razor in my hand.

_Is it over yet, in my head?_

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and hesitated. My hair, now dyed a jet black, hung straight around my shoulders. My eyes were dull and listless, and were rimmed with black eyeliner. My eyelids covered with dark eyeshadow.

This is what I had become.

_I know nothing of your kind._

This is the kind of person I was now.

_I won't reveal your evil mind._

At least, for just a little while longer.

_Is it over yet?_

I'm surprised that I lasted this long.

_I can't win._

I raised the razor to my wrist.

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left._

At this point, my mind decided to send me an image, the last thing I wanted to see.

_I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.  
_Edward was staring at me, his eyes piercing holes through my soul.

_I'm going all the way, get away, please_

Well, at least he won't be able to torment me much longer.

_You take the breath right out of me_

I took a deep breath.

_You left a hole where my heart should be._

I began to drag the blade across my skin.

_You got to fight just to make it through_

At that moment, the most terrifying sound I had ever heard rang in my ears. An angry growl.

The razor was ripped from my hand and flung across the room.

Two ice-cold hands gripped my face.

"How DARE you?!" he cried.

Blackness consumed me.

_I will be the death of you._


	2. Waking Up

**Hello again! As you can see, I have decided to write regular chapters from here on out. I hope that you'll still like it enough to keep reading :)**

I was having the strangest dream...

I remember sitting on my bed, the razor blade in my hand. I wanted to die. I had nothing to live for. Nothing could possibly save me from the tormenting agony that I was feeling.

It had been about four months since _he _had left. Four months of nothingness, four months of meaningless hours and hollow days. I could barely function.

Charlie had long since given up on trying to do anything with me. Once, he had said that he was going to send me to Florida. However, as soon as the tears, the first tears I had shown him in months, began to trickle down my cheeks, he quickly changed his mind.

About a month after _his _departure, I dyed my hair. I was at the point where I detested anything that had color. Color reminded me of happiness, and I didn't like to think about being happy when it was clearly out of my reach at this point. My clothes eventually received the same treatment, and I was in the process of sneaking in paint to cover the vile blue on my walls.

In the middle of this, however, I began thinking to myself . _What's the point of doing all that work? As soon as Charlie sees it, he'll just make me paint back over it. Besides, painting my walls won't erase all of the color from the world._

At that moment, I realized something. I didn't have to keep looking at the color. I could do something that would efface all of the colorfrom my existence, forever.

I would end my life.And I would end it now. There was no point in waiting. I walked to the bathroom, grabbed my razor, and sat back down on my bed.

I had begun to drag the blade down my arm, feeling the veins bursting and warm blood leaking out onto my skin.

Suddenly, and I can't be sure of this, a terrifying, furious, beautiful angel jumped through my window. He took the razor and threw it against the wall. Then, he had his hands on my face, and was asking me an odd question... but I can't remember what it was.

I knew it had to be a dream. At least, that last part. I know that I was awake when I cut myself with the razor. That had been a conscious decision.

Maybe I was in heaven. Surely all these beautiful dreams and delusions couldn't have come from hell.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware of a sharp pain. As I paid more attention to it, the pain became even greater. Perhaps this _was _hell. Even so, I didn't want to open my eyes.

The face of the angel, whom I still couldn't acknowledge by name, had seemed so real. So tangible. If I hadn't know better, I would have tried to reach out and touch him.

However, I was unable to focus on his face as much as I would like. The pain was growing at an alarming rate. _Can you really feel this much pain when you're dead?_

I sighed to myself, my eyes still closed. It was time to let go of the delusions, and time to stop tormenting myself into thinking that the angel, wherever he was, actually cared.

I opened my eyes.

The first thing that hit me was how pink everything was. The walls were a light, lilac-y shade of the color. The carpet was a deep magenta, and as I looked down, I saw that the blankets of the bed I was laying on matched the color of the walls.

Hell was the only possibility at this point, because I loathed the color pink.

I only contemplated this for about two seconds, before I saw something that wiped any and all thoughts of detestable colors out of my mind.

The angel was in the room, staring at me.

He was sitting on a small, red couch that had originally been on the opposite side of the room. I could see the marks on the carpet in its original resting spot. Now, it was as close to the bed as possible, and he was leaning toward me. His face was a mere two feet from mine.

"Bella?" he questioned, concern showing in his black eyes.

I gazed at him in shock, not fully comprehending that he was real. He _couldn't _be real.

He leaned even closer to me. "Bella?"

I slowly sat up, and I watched as he froze, his eyes never leaving my face. I couldn't possibly let myself think that he was real. I needed to focus on something else.

The sharp pain came into focus again, and I quickly scanned myself for the source. My eyes fell upon a thick, long bandage that stretched almost to my elbow. I could see the dark, red-brown stains, where the blood from my veins had seeped into the white cotton. That meant that...

I _wasn't _dead.

I wasn't _dead._

_Oh, my God._

I looked back up at the angelic face that was still staring at me, his expression extremely anxious. If I wasn't dead... it meant that he was _real_.

I gasped with the realization. He thought it was for a different reason.

"Does your arm hurt?" he asked me.

All I could do was nod. I mean, it _did _hurt.

He stood up and went to a small table on the other side of my bed. I followed him with my eyes as he removed two pills from a small piece of plastic and poured water into a glass from a pitcher. He handed both of these things to me, careful to avoid contact with my skin. I took the pills obediently.

After a few minutes, he spoke again. "Do you feel better now?"

I nodded again, still unable to twist.

He took the glass from my hand- I hadn't even realize I was still holding it- and set it back down on the table. However, instead of walking back to the couch, he sat down on my bed. His eyes, full of concern only a moment before, became furious.

"Please explain to me what the HELL you thought you were doing!" he shouted.

The sharpness of his words was like a slap, and I turned my eyes away, ashamed.

"I can't believe you would do something like that, Isabella Swan! I cannot believe that you of all people would even consider something so appalling!"

He was off the bed now, pacing around the room, his hands clenched tightly into fists.

"You have no idea, absolutely NO idea how scared I was. I get this call from Alice, and she said that you were going to... to take your _life_." His voice broke on the last word, and I could only watch as the pain etched itself into his face. "At first, I couldn't even _move_. But she began shrieking into the phone, saying that I had to hurry, or it would be too late."

He began to slowly walk towards the bed, his hands unclenching. "I almost was too late," he whispered. The only emotion in his voice now was pain, unbearable pain. My own heart twisted in response to it.

He crawled back onto the bed, the anguish still evident.

"Are you going to say _anything_?"

Thought my shock and pain, I could only get out one word. "Edward," I whispered, finally saying his name, finally acknowledging that he was here.

And then I burst into tears.

It was all too much.

Cold arms wrapped around me and pulled me close, and I cried into an icy shoulder. His fingers were stroking my hair, and he was making shushing noises, trying to calm me. I could have stayed that way for hours. It might only have been minutes. There, in that pink room, time ceased to exist.

When I finally was able to control my sobs, he pulled back, only slightly, to search my face. He examined me for a long time. Whatever he found must have hurt him greatly, because his face took on a look of excruciating pain. It was making my heart hurt just to look at him.

After a moment, he regained his composure to some extent. Taking my face into his perfect hands, he asked, or murmured, rather, a question that I knew was coming. A question that I didn't want to answer. A question to which the answer would rip my heart into pieces.

"Bella, what happened to you?"

**I'm sorry if any of you thought that this was a majorly dark chapter. I was beginning to get depressed just writing it, but there were things that had to be said. I'm also sorry that it wasn't very long... I will probably post longer chapters in the future. For right now, however, I just want to know what you think of it. **

**REVIEW, please!**


	3. Dreaming

**Hello everyone! I'm back! I've been working hard to get this chapter out and posted, so please don't hate me too much for keeping you waiting!**

**And for all of you that read my other story, _Ere the Sun Rises_, never fear! I've just been battling bad writer's block. However, this should be the last one before I'm able to finish the story. Only a few chapters left!**

**Now, on with the story!**

Even though I was expecting this question, it astounded me to no end. _What __**happened **__to me? What does he __**think **__happened to me?_

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head back and forth, trying to put my thoughts in order. What was I going to say? How could I possibly convey the utter despair and agony that I'd been feeling during the past few months?

I opened my eyes again, and found myself staring into black pools. I also noticed the bruise-like shadows under his eyes, darker than usual. "You're thirsty, Edward." I said, trying to sound reproachful, but my voice wavered when I spoke his name. I acknowledged this, partly because I was worried about him, and partly because I wanted to change the subject. There wasn't any point in making him feel even more guilty.

I put my hands on his cold arms, which were still wrapped around my shoulders, and slowly lifted them off me. I saw hurt in his eyes, and I quickly explained. "I don't want to make this more difficult for you then it has to be. Go on, hunt. I'll be fine." My voice had decreased in volume as I spoke. The last three words were barely a whisper, and I could tell I was doing a poor job of convincing him to go. It wasn't as though I wanted him to leave. Actually, that was the understatement of the century. But he needed to hunt.

"Really, I'll be fine," I repeated, forcing my voice to be louder. I looked away so that he couldn't see the pain in my eyes.

He gazed at me for a long moment, then slowly raised his hands so that they were cupping my face. He turned it so that I was looking into his eyes. "Bella, do you honestly think for one second that I'm going to leave you _alone_? After what you just tried to _do_?"

I lowered my eyes, ashamed. The silence was overwhelming, pressing down and crushing me. When I was able, I raised my gaze back to meet his own, pleading with him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly, answering the unspoken question in my eyes.

"But you have to hunt, Edward!" I was getting a bit frantic.

"And I will. As soon as the others are back, I will go." He said this in a soothing voice, obviously trying to calm me down.

I froze, and he immediately noticed. His words were echoing inside my head. _The others_... _the others_... _the others_...

"They're coming back?" I whispered, my voice full of disbelief. "Why?"

His expression became anguished as he read the complete incredulity in my voice. "Bella, they were nearly as frantic as I was when we found out." He began to speak quickly, something I noticed he always did whenever he was agitated. "Alice and Esme were both in hysterics. Emmett began to throw things, and Rosalie had to take him outside to calm him down. Carlisle was extremely worried, and Jasper... well, he was distressed enough as it was, but the added emotions of everyone else nearly crippled him. He was screaming from the agony he felt."

I sat there in shocked silence, taking this all in. They were worried about me... that meant that, somehow, they must have cared about what had happened to me.

I must have stared at the horrid lavender walls for hours. I couldn't sort it all out in my head. I wasn't dead. The Cullens were... concerned for my well-being. Most importantly, Edward was sitting right next to me. Not in all my wildest dreams could I have expected this. _In all my wildest __**dreams**__..._

"Wait a minute," I murmured, finally breaking the silence.

Edward's eyes snapped to my face. "What is it, Bella?"

I turned to face him again. Taking a deep breath, I voiced the now painfully obvious cause of all of these miraculous circumstances. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" **(A/N: I know that this is starting to sound too much like New Moon, but just keep reading)**

"What?"

"I must be; there's no way that this could actually be happening. I'm not that lucky." I let my eyes drift away from him, trying to make this easier to admit to myself. "It's all a hallucination, or something. You're not really here."

If he looked anguished before, it couldn't even compare to how he looked now. The grief and sorrow in his eyes was enough to make me want to cry. Sure enough, salty tears began to run down my cheeks, and no efforts from me seemed to be able to quell them.

With his cold thumb, Edward slowly began to wipe the tears away. "Bella, you aren't dreaming."

I shook my head, and he slowly removed his hand from my face. "I don't believe you."

I watched as he took this in. Suddenly, his face was contorted in intense anger, more anger than I'd ever seen in any one person. "You don't believe me?" he asked, his tone livid.

I cowered back against the pillows that were propped up on the bed. "N-no," I stuttered. "I don't. It's just not possible. There's no way that you can be real."

One second he was on the bed, the next he was on the other side of the room, screaming in what appeared to be complete and tormenting agony. The sound hurt my ears and my heart. I was too afraid to go to the figment of my imagination, to try and calm him, to ease his apparent suffering. I could only sit back and watch in horror as he punched a hole in the wall, then another. I had _never _seen him like this. The anger I'd seen in him when James had come after me was nothing compared to this. The one thing I couldn't figure out was why he was so angry at _me_.

After watching this violent display for several minutes, I finally had the courage to slide off of the bed and walk slowly towards him. At this point he had his face in his hands, and his shoulders were shaking. As I came closer, I could hear quiet sobs. He was _crying_?

I reached up my hand and set it hesitantly on the back of his shoulder.

He froze underneath my touch, and I feared that I had offended him in some way. When he still did not move, I walked around to face him, keeping my hand on his shoulder. I placed my other hand on top of one of his, and attempted to pry it from his face. I knew I would only be able to move it if he would let me.

"Edward," I whispered, keeping my voice gentle.

Ever so slowly, his hand slid down to reveal the left side of his face. I moved my right hand from his shoulder to repeat the same process with the other.

Eventually, I held his hands in both of mine. Looking up into his face, I searched his expression for some sign of anger, but it had passed. Ancient sadness, grief, and a frightening sort of deadness were the only things I saw now.

Still holding his hands, I turned and started walking backward, leading him to the bed. We both sat on the edge, gazing at one another and not quite knowing what to say. Finally, he decided to break the silence.

"Why don't you believe me, Bella? Why can't you accept that I'm really here?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "Because, if for a second I believe you, then I'll begin to be happy again. What's the point in that, when in reality I have nothing to be happy about? As soon as I'm willing to believe you, you'll end up leaving again."

He was shocked, that much was certain. He let go of one of my hands to reach up and touch my face. "Bella, earlier I asked you a question, and you went around it. I want you to answer me now, please. What happened to you... after I left?"

I debated with myself before answering. _Should I tell him? Do I really want to cause him even more pain, imaginary being that he is? _In the end, I decided that I might as well. Maybe this was some sort of weird limbo, and as soon as I got all of these things off my chest, I could move on to whatever came next.

"Edward," I began, "I'm sure you already know what a weak human I am. In fact, that's one of the reasons you left, is it not?" I was doing a very poor job of keeping my voice cool and collected.

He winced, and opened his mouth to say something, but I placed a finger on his mouth.

"Don't say anything yet, please. Just let me get this out while I'm able. Anyways, I was-am- whatever, a very weak human. And when I fell in love with you, I became dependent on you. You became the reason for my being, the very core of my existence, the possessor of my heart." I paused to see how he was taking this. His eyes were shining with some emotion that I could understand, or didn't want to understand. He nodded once for me to continue.

"So you see how very much I needed you. Well, when you left, you sort of... pulled the rug from under me. I can't really think of a better way to put it. I began falling, from that very moment, into a deep darkness that was consuming me. Every second of my life since then, I've just been falling farther and farther. I haven't been able to breathe fully in months. My heart's beats have been ragged and painful. There's not much left inside me- I'm more of a shell than anything else.

"I know how pathetic I must sound," I said, rather sheepishly. "I apologize for that. I don't believe that you ever intended for me to become so attached to you. You were too perfect to stay with the likes of me, and it was time that you moved on. I understand that now." The hole was ripping me to shreds, but I did my best to keep my composure.

I'm not sure that I could describe exactly what was in his eyes at that moment. It was the oddest mix of emotions that I'd ever seen. However, when he spoke, the words that came from his mouth were sure to be branded on my mind forever.

"Bella, you are absurd."

I stared stupidly at him. "Huh?"

He leaned in closer, so close that when he spoke again, the sweetness of his breath blew in my face. "How could you believe me?"

My mouth was hanging open. "I... don't... understand..."

"Bella, I _lied _to you."

"About what?"

He sighed. "Bella... I still love you. In fact, I never _stopped _loving you."

That did it. I had been trying to hold myself together, but that was the breaking point. I leaped off the bed, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. "You're lying!" I shouted.

He certainly wasn't expecting that. "Bella?"

I could feel the crazed expression on my face. "I thought that once I told you everything, they would let me go on! But _no_, I have to stay here and listen to a fantasy torture me even more. I just can't take it!"

His voice was pleading. "Bella, how can I possibly prove to you that I'm real? That I'm actually here with you now? That this isn't some terrible dream that you can't wake up from."

"I don't think you can."

Suddenly, he got this determined glint in his eye_s. _"Oh _NO_?"

In the next instant, he jumped off the bed, bounded over to me, and took my face in his icy hands.

And then he started kissing me.

**What do you think about this chapter? Was it worth the wait? Review! - I'll know if you didn't ;)**


	4. Is this real?

**I know, I know, I'm a terrible person.**

**I realize that it's been over two months since I posted that author's note saying I was back, and that I haven't added a real update to this story since April. I know all this- but, if I had to explain everything that prevented me from finishing and putting up this update, it would be longer than the actual chapter. I also realize that it's not very long, but I didn't want to write anything extremely long and expend a bunch of effort and then discover that people have stopped reading this story altogether. So, I have written this little snippet to see if I still have your attention. IF the response to this chapter is good, then I will continue the story. If not, well... I don't know. This isn't meant to be taken as a threat, I just don't want to keep writing if no one is interested.**

**Again, really sorry! I hope you like this!**

Edward's lips moved against mine with more force and passion than I had ever felt before. For a moment, I let my control fall away, taking with it the last of my sanity. I was embracing the illusion.

My fingers went up and tangled in his hair, pulling his face even closer to mine. His arms wrapped around me, lifting me off the floor. I was pressed against the wall, and he was still kissing me. I eventually had to break away to catch my breath, but as soon as I inhaled once, his mouth was back on mine. Even as all of these long-lost sensations began sweeping through me, I still had one part of my mind that was being rational. _Edward's __**never **__kissed me like this_, it thought.

The recollection brought forth a realization that made me go still. I could feel Edward's confusion as he pulled back an inch. When he saw the tears falling down my cheeks, his confusion turned to pain.

"Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked frantically.

For a moment, I was unable to speak. The hope I had let myself feel as he was kissing me came crashing down, shattering in pieces on the floor as I tried to regain my voice. Finally, I pulled myself together, putting what I hoped was a calm, tranquil expression on my face. "I _was _right. You aren't real." I withdrew my hands from his hair, and set them on his chest, pushing with almost no force at all.

Edward's eyes went blank, and he staggered back as though I had shoved him. His hands yanked at his hair, and he dropped to his knees. "What have I done? What have I _done_?" he moaned in utter torment.

I didn't go to him this time. I just slid down the wall, coming to a sitting position. This was both the best and worse illusion I'd ever experienced. Wonderful, because Edward was here. Horrible, because I had to watch him go through such pain. _When will I be able to move on?_

I didn't realize I'd said this out loud until Edward's eyes were again on my face. The lifeless expression in them seemed to fade. Suddenly, they lit up again. "If I can't prove that I'm really here, at least I can prove that you're really alive."

I crossed my arms and eyed him dubiously. "Just how do you plan on doing that?"

His lips turned up in a tiny smile. "I'll show you. First, why don't we change your bandage?"

I looked down at my long-forgotten arm and gasped. The white bandage was completely drenched with red. As I focused on this, the familiar, sickening smell of rust filled my nose. I had to look away quickly before I became sick.

"How are you able to stand it, Edward?" I asked. He had come up to me with a first-aid kit, and was now removing my dirty bandage and replacing it with a clean one. He looked up at me curiously as he worked.

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

"The real Edward would be going crazy right about now. He'd either be trying to get as far away as possible, or... he'd be finishing me off."

The imaginary Edward in front of me flinched, then slowly raised his head to look at me. I saw anguish and, more importantly, incredulity in his eyes. "Is that what you really think?"

Before he gave me time to answer, he kept speaking. "Bella, when I brought you here, the scent of your blood was the _last_ thing on my mind. I was more concerned with saving your life. My love for you exceeds any bloodlust I have. You have to believe that."

I scoffed. "Yes, your _love_ for me must be pretty powerful. I mean, you only broke my heart. You only told me that the love you claim to have for me didn't exist anymore. Of _course_ I believe you." My voice was dripping heavily in bitterness and sarcasm. The other, even darker side of my personality from the past few months was making its way to the surface. The mockingly derisive side. The side that had caused people to stop feeling sorry for me and think of me as a complete bitch.

Edward's eyes widened. I could tell that he hadn't expected anything like this.

I laughed once, a hard, cruel sound. "Surprised, Edward? Well, I can't say that's very original. I would expect even my imaginary Edward to be shocked at what I've become. What can I say? I've been only a _shell _of a person for months now. Whatever soul I had, you took it with you."

His eyes tightened at my last comment, and I knew I'd hit a nerve. Edward had always made a point of trying to protect my soul. In the very few conversations we'd had about me becoming a vampire, he repeatedly told me he wouldn't allow it for that very reason.

He got up then, and I realized that he'd finished changing my bandage. He walked out the door, probably going somewhere to dispose of the soiled one, and was back before I had time to even consider counting to one.

He wordlessly held out his hand. I stared at it, hard, not sure if I wanted to take it. After a moment, I decided I could use some help, seeing as I could only put pressure on one arm. I both reluctantly and eagerly grasped his cold hand, and he pulled me up. As soon as I was on my feet, I let go quickly. The skin on my hand tingled.

"Lead the way," I said, motioning with my good arm. I kept my eyes on his feet, my head bent.

A cold finger tilted my chin up, and golden eyes were boring down into mine. "Bella, in order to do this, to show you... I'm going to have to carry you."

My heart, which had begun to speed up at the contact with his skin, stopped for a moment. Edward froze, and we both waited for it to start back up. When the steady rhythm was again audible, he visibly relaxed.

"You have no idea how afraid I am of that sound," he told me. "Or, rather, the lack of one. I've feared it ever since the day I met you."

I shivered involuntarily, remembering that day, and the way his piercing glare had seemed to burn holes into my skin. Pure, unadulterated hatred- that was what I'd seen, and what I believed he felt for me now. At least, I _had_ believed it before all these hallucinations- which were becoming more real by the moment- began.

"Well?" Edward asked, breaking me out of my confused reverie. After another moment, I nodded. He reached for me, being especially careful. I thought he was going to put me on his back, but he held me cradled in his arms. He walked out of his room, down the staircase, and into the foyer, holding my gaze the entire time. The pounding of my heart and the faint sounds of our breathing seemed deafening in the silent house.

When he reached the front door, he paused. His stare became intense, his eyes boring down into my own. They seemed to reach into my soul. He then leaned down and kissed my forehead very gently. His lips lingered on my skin, and the sensation sent a shiver down my spine. After a moment, he pulled away, and then carefully swung me onto his back.

Before I could figure out what had been behind that look, we were off. The trees were a blur as I flew at lightning speed through the forest. I didn't spend much time watching them, though- my focus was on Edward.

He was a majestic sight to behold: head tilted forward, bronze hair blowing, an exhilarated expression on his beautiful face. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

We ran for about another minute before he stopped. I found that we had come to the entrance of the ever-familiar forest path. However, we were far back enough so that we would not be visible from my house.

I gasped in shock at the sight that met my eyes.

**Yes, I'm also sorry for the cliffy, but I thought that it might help re-ignite (is that a word?) your interest. Review to tell me how you liked this chapter and if you want me to go on with the story! :)**

**~DiamondSkin**


	5. Afraid

**Excuses? Why, yes, I have several. **

**Are any of them all that good? Not really.**

**Should I have updated a long time ago? YES.**

**Will I ever make you wait nearly six months again? NO.**

**Now, on with the chapter! I hope that it was worth the wait.**

At first, all I could focus on were the lights- bright, flashing, red and blue lights coming from the top of a police cruiser. _Charlie's_ cruiser...

There was a large group of people gathered in the front yard, and all of them seemed to be listening to someone standing in the center. I couldn't make out the voice. The next moment, another police cruiser pulled into our driveway, followed almost immediately by Billy Black's truck. Jacob practically leaped out of the driver's side, running to join the throng of people. My mind noted that he had grown much taller and... exceptionally muscular since the last time I'd seen him. But I couldn't dwell on that right now.

I started to make my way towards them, but Edward held me back. I shot him a questioning look. "Edward, I don't understand. Why are all these people here? What's going on?"

He remained silent. His eyes seemed to be pleading with me, urging me to figure out the answer for myself. All of a sudden, it dawned on me.

I looked back at the sea of worried faces. "They're looking for me, aren't they?"

He nodded.

"That means... I'm still alive." I said it slowly, tasting the words and finally trusting them.

"Yes," Edward whispered. "Yes, Bella."

"And if I'm alive..." I trailed off, looking back at him. My eyes widened in complete amazement and understanding. "You're really here."

"I won't ever leave again. I swear to you."

I nodded, knowing that he was telling the truth- for the moment, at least. We would need to have a long talk later. But right now, I had to find Charlie.

Suddenly, I remembered the giant bandage wrapped around my wrist. It had fresh stains, though these were smaller, meaning that the wound was beginning to heal. I still had no idea how I was going to explain this.

Edward must have noticed my anxiety, because he said, "Maybe I should come with you- provide a cover story."

I shook my head. "No, I can't do that. I have to tell him the truth. Besides, I have no idea how Charlie's going to react to seeing you. It might be best if you go home."

He looked completely appalled. "Bella, you don't honestly think that-"

I put a finger to his lips to quiet him. "Come back tonight, after he's asleep," I whispered. "I'll be awake."

He sighed, but it was sigh of surrender. He wouldn't fight me on this. His cool breath on my skin made me shiver slightly. I removed my finger and took a step back from him. "Tonight," I said again.

"Tonight," he echoed.

A small smile found its way to my lips. I hadn't smiled it so long, and it felt strange. But not unpleasant.

His answering smile was stunning, remaining on his face as he quietly slipped through the trees, back towards his house. When he was out of sight, I took a deep breath before leaving the protection of the forest.

Mike Newton, hanging around the edge of the throng, was the first to see me. "Bella!" he exclaimed in astonishment.

Other heads turned in my direction, and I heard my name murmured again and again. The sea began to part. Suddenly, Charlie was through and half-walking, half-running to meet me. My eyes were unexpectedly moist, and when I got close enough, I could see that he was crying, too.

He caught me in a tight hug, burying his face in my hair. "Bella," he cried, his shoulders trembling with the force of his sobs.

I wrapped my arms firmly around him. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry."

I held him as he cried, my own tears streaming silently down my cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the others eyeing me with both relief and curiosity. A few of them began making their way forward. It was going to be hard enough explaining things to Charlie- I couldn't handle telling the entire town.

"Dad, come on. Let's go inside."

He lifted his head, nodding slightly. Turning to our friends, he said, "Thank you so much for coming to help. I appreciate each and every one of you. But right now, I need to speak to my daughter alone." Without another word, he steered me inside the house, remaining silent until I was seated on the couch in the living room while he paced the floor.

"Bella," he began, and I could hear the anger starting to creep into his voice. "What possessed you- I mean, how could even _think _of disappearing like that again? Did you think I'd be able to go through it _twice_?" I cringed, knowing that he was referring to what happened right after Edward left. "I get a call from your science teacher, asking me if you were sick, because you had a big presentation due today. Of course, I never even see you doing homework anymore, so I had no idea what he was talking about." He paused to catch his breath, while I kept my eyes on the floor.

"But I was worried that you _were _sick, and that you might have needed help, so I came home right after he called. I get here and find the house completely empty- you didn't even leave a _note _this time! I almost had a heart attack. Bella, how could you scare me like that? What's going on? I feel like I'm losing you."

I burst into tears at this, realizing how close I came to making him right. He stopped ranting and sat next to me, pulling me into his arms again. "Please, Bella, talk to me."

I looked up at him, trying to focus my blurry sight. "Dad, I don't know how to..." I trailed off, unable to say the words. Instead, I moved to undo the bandage on my wrist. Thankfully, the blood had clotted. When the last of the stained gauze fell away, it revealed an angry scarlet line going halfway down my arm. I looked away in shame as Charlie gaped at the cut.

"Bella, you didn't," he breathed, his voice heavy with pain.

I was only able to nod.

His voice shook. "But... why?"

I scoffed through my tears. "I can't even begin to tell you. These past few months have just been so... I would say miserable, but that doesn't even scratch the surface of how I've felt. And it's nothing to do with you or mom- you've been so supportive and caring. I was just too far gone, from the moment you found me in the woods after Edward went away."

Charlie gasped, and it took me a moment to understand why. Then I remembered. I hadn't spoken Edward's name since that awful day. I forbade myself, or anyone else, to do so.

I tried to continue. "Anyways, this morning I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know how I could bear to try surviving another day." I risked a glance at his face and feared that my heart would break from the agony I saw in his eyes.

I looked back at the cut, and an edge crept into my voice. "I went and got a razor from the bathroom, and I tried to end it."

Though anguish was still the dominate expression on his face, I could see that he was confused. "But you're here."

I smiled ruefully. "I wouldn't be if it weren't for Edward."

Now confusion overtook anguish. "Edward?"

I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair. "Dad, he saved my life."

Before I could continue, Charlie was in a rage. "He's the reason you wanted to kill yourself in the first place! How could you give him any credit for saving you?"

I sighed, knowing that this was going to be difficult. "I can't really explain it, Dad. One moment, I was dragging the blade down my arm. The next, it was yanked out of my hand and _he _was... carrying me outside to his car," I lied at the end, knowing that Charlie wouldn't be able to handle the truth. "I think that I passed out. When I came to, I saw that he had managed to slow the bleeding and bandage my arm."

Charlie sat there in silence, trying to absorb it all. I could imagine what he was thinking. First, he thought his daughter had vanished, and then finds her and discovers that she had tried to kill herself only that morning because of an ex-boyfriend that had been gone for months. Then said boyfriend came back and saved her life. It would be difficult for anyone to process. I just hoped he wouldn't dwell on the almost-perfect timing of Edward's rescue.

After a few minutes, he looked me dead in the eye, asking me a question that had been eating at the back of my mind. "So, is he back? For good, I mean."

I shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant while feeling anything but. "I don't know."

His face became stern. "Bella, I don't want you to have anything to do with him."

"But, Dad-"

"I'm being serious, Bells. If he drove you this far over the edge, God only knows what would happen if you let him back into your life."

"He _saved _my life!"

"Your life wouldn't have needed saving if he hadn't broken your heart in the first place!"

I opened my mouth to object, but then found that I couldn't. Charlie was right. Edward _had _broken my heart. Edward had driven me to _suicide_. And I was so masochistic that I didn't care what kind of pain he caused me. That was seriously... sick.

Without voicing any of this, I reached forward and hugged Charlie once more. "Dad, I promise you that, no matter _what _happens, I will never put you through this again."

**-Page Break-**

It was now after 11:00, and Edward still hadn't shown.

Charlie had been hesitant to let me stay in my room alone. Starting at about 9:30, when I first "fell asleep," he had been checking on me every five minutes. I knew the reason for this, and I felt too guilty to reprimand him. By about 10:30, he seemed to be assured that I wouldn't do anything drastic, and he went to bed. I could hear his soft snores, and they brought me more comfort than they ever had before.

My mind was in a turmoil. I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle this. Now that I was certain that I was alive and not dreaming, I wasn't sure what seeing Edward would do to me. I was afraid of him, of the power he held over me. I knew that he would never try to hurt me... physically, at least. But his influence over my mind and heart was far more deadly than his vampiric strength.

A gentle tap-tap on my window had me bolting upright in bed. I turned slowly to see Edward's face on the other side of the glass. This was the first time he had ever knocked before coming in. I got up cautiously and made my way over to the sash, preparing to lift it up for him.

At that moment, I froze. I didn't know what to do- my mind and the pieces of my heart wouldn't come to an agreement. I had two choices: Turn Edward away and save the last shreds of my sanity, or let him in and risk destroying the already mauled fragments of my soul.

**Review and tell me how much you've missed me! :)**


	6. Open Ended

I haven't written a new chapter for this story in well over a year- you all know this. And I find that I'm not really a part of the ever-growing Twilight fandom anymore. I've even come to prefer Jacob over Edward, though I can't stand Bella, so I don't think she deserves him. Anyways, I've decided to end the story just as it is- and you can create your own ending for it. Does she go back to Edward? Does she tell him no and decide to be with Jacob instead. Or does she embark on a search for a backbone? You choose.

Sorry if this is disappointing to any of you… but I really doubt you're surprised.

I don't think this is the end of my fanfiction writing career. I'm just not quite ready to come back from my hiatus. We'll see what the future brings.

**DiamondSkin**

**P.S. **If someone REALLY wants this story to be continued, and they think they have a good idea as to how it should end, send me a message. If I think the idea is good enough, then I will hand the story over to them to finish.


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